Remind Me Not To Drink Tecate Ever Again

4 04 2010

Sometimes after a long day at work, we wanna relax and unwind. Some people watch TV, some get on the internet, others play video games. Men by and large (including myself on occasion) enjoy a simple cold beer out of the fridge. If a man’s home is his castle, a nice brew is the official beverage of choice. However, you generally would like to have only beer in the container.

For Everett Johnston of Crystal Beach, TX, he learned that you should probably not assume that your beer will not come with a protein surprise. After grabbing a cold Tecate Light our of the fridge, he noticed that his beer didn’t taste quite right. Upon further review, he noticed that their was a rat’s head floating inside. So what does any red blooded American man do when he has the severed head of Chuck E. Cheese swimming in his Mexican cerveza? He sues!

He is suing Heineken, the U.S. distributor for Tecate for an undisclosed amount. He claims that as a result of the incident, he can only eat foods prepared in front of him and he is traumatized whenever he eats out of the can. He has a point: anyone who has ever eaten a can of Vienna sausages is taken their lives into their hands. Besides, what part of the pig does SPAM actually come from?

The lesson learned here is simple: before you drink your beer, glance inside of it first. True, beer should not be like a box of Cracker Jack where you find a sticker of a magic decoder ring on the inside. But at the same time, if you see one of the characters from Mickey Mouse, Ratatouille, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Billy the Exterminator, or Michael Vick’s basement in your favorite beverage, do not be surprised.